Several years ago, I started dating my best friend. At the time, it made perfect sense. We were inseparable, we had so much in common, we were extremely close, and when we realized we had feelings for each other that surpassed being just friends, it seemed almost silly not to date each other. Especially since we were both single and had been single for a while — a factor that we didn’t take into consideration as something that was weighing heavily on our decision. Needless to say, it didn’t work out. And, in the process, we lost each other. Now our contact is limited to happy birthday emails.
7 reasons to be friends before dating someone
Jump to navigation. Dating your best friend can turn your most significant friendship into something really special. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich.
How to Start Dating a Friend (And Deal With the Awkwardness) Plus, since you’ve spent a good deal of time with this person in a platonic.
Then, all of a sudden, it happens. Your BFF starts dating that person that you had already expressed interest in. What gives? It can easily leave you feeling hurt, confused, betrayed, and angry all at once — and understandably so. Not only are you dealing with the fact that someone else is dating the person you like, but that someone is your best friend. Teen Vogue teamed up with licensed counselor Lauren Hasha to bring you some tips for coping with this very scenario.
Ahead, find out how you can deal with this type of situation and move forward to mend what might be a broken heart.
The Brutal Truth About Trying (And Failing) To Date Your Best Friend
One common experience for Christian singles is having romantic feelings for a good friend of the opposite sex. Wanting to date your Christian friend can cause all kinds of confusion and doubts about what to do. On what hand it is exciting to think about dating a great friend. But on the other hand it can be frightening because you might ruin the friendship. What if the desire for a Christian dating relationship might not be reciprocated by the friend that you like?
I was convinced we had no chemistry and that I ruined a perfectly-great friendship. (Then date two happened and we successfully made out.
Losing a close friend to a romantic relationship is painful for anyone. For quirkyalones, people for whom friendship is the bedrock of our worldview, the process can be even more dramatic. Mourn the loss. Acknowledge that while the first reaction might be happiness, you also have sadness, mixed with chagrin; you want to be excited for your friend but you are worried about losing your partner in crime. Sit with those feelings.
Let them stew. You need to express your fears of abandonment, but probably not to your friend. Talk with other members of your circle. Chill out. Now that you have aired your anxieties, relax. In most cases, the sexual frenzy will subside after the first few months and the friendship will resume. In the meantime, put renewed emphasis on friends who are available and try not to lose perspective.
If You Start Dating Your Best Friend, Remember These 6 Important Things
Sometimes people think friends are only useful when they are lonely, but when they meet a new romantic interest they ignore their pals. Is this normal? Should you be offended if this happens to you? It’s natural for your friend to get excited about a new love interest, and therefore devote most of their free time to them in the beginning. However, like anything in life, balance is the key.
One of the best foundations for a healthy and happy relationship and sex life is having a strong bond. Because if you think about it, being with someone who is willing to watch a Twilight marathon with you on a rainy Saturday is just as crucial as being with someone who you want to have sex with during all the boring parts. And the experts agree. But what if the situation is reversed? Can dating a guy or girl you’re already buds with be a good idea?
Well, that depends on the friend. Starting a relationship with someone you already trust, have things in common with, and care about can create a solid bond for the long haul, but there needs to be an attraction there as well. On the other hand, your super-hot friend may not be the best person for the long-term if they have a long streak of sleeping with girls and never calling them again. So how can you tell if you should explore something more with a pal?
Like a Rom-Com Protagonist, I Told My Best Friend I Was in Love With Him
The first kiss my boyfriend and I shared as friends-who-now-know-they-like-each-other was nothing short of terrifying. I pulled him into what I thought would be a sweeping, spark-filled smooch and he just stood there, hardly moving. The rest of the date was even more catastrophic. We nervously drank too much and watched Sweet Home Alabama on his bed without looking at each other. I was convinced we had no chemistry and that I ruined a perfectly-great friendship. All to say: I have been there.
Like a Rom-Com Protagonist, I Told My Best Friend I Was in Love With ever more appealing in the era of smoke-and-mirrors internet dating.
Through the individual stories and experiences shared in Real Relationships, we aim to paint a more realistic picture of love in the world today. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this article belong solely to the author, and are not necessarily based on research conducted by The Gottman Institute. In fact, it took five years for me to recognize my feelings for her. We had friend dates cooking up the latest superfoods together, going on hikes, researching the best supplements, and eventually both becoming certified nutritionists.
As the years progressed, we got even closer. Both of us went through similar health issues and relied on each other to vent and get support from someone who actually understood. We communicated daily and rarely went more than a few days without seeing each other. She had become my best friend. We were out with a group of friends, celebrating the fresh start that comes with a new year, and had a blast, as usual.
When I got home, I found myself replaying the evening with her and feeling like there was a different kind of connection forming, beyond best friendship. This brought up so much confusion for me. Could this be? My newfound attraction to Kristin led me down a path of self-exploration.
I Fell in Love With My Best Friend
Romantic relationships borne from friendships can be exciting. They know your quirks, and you know theirs. Here are the big ones. Does your friend feel the same way about you as you feel about them? Of course, if your feelings are strong, you should probably communicate with them regardless of whether you think your friend likes you back—honesty is crucial to any healthy friendship, and holding back a feeling like this could make you feel awkward or even resentful.
Are both of you in a healthy place to date?
But if it’s the right situation , dating a friend can lead to finding your person, which means that taking the risk can be worth it. Plus, since you’ve spent a good deal of time with this person in a platonic setting , chances are you’ve already got a good idea about who they really are. That said, there are five key steps you can follow while making the transition from friends to partners that little bit easier.
Just say it. Don’t put pressure on your friend—share that you have feelings and then see how they respond. Understand that this might come as a surprise to them, and they might not feel the same way. Why is this person your friend? Is it because they’re dependable, loyal, caring and you have shared interests? Or are they the life of the party? Before you try being a couple, really ask yourself, Does my friend have the traits I’m looking for in a loving partner? This is not the time to pick up speed while dating.
It will take some time easing into the little things that may seem a little uncomfortable at first. And now’s the time to show some restraint with sex if possible.